My daughter’s birthday

I am sitting alone in my home. It is drizzling. Today is the 7th of August. On this day my little princess arrived from a paradise. It is a well known saying that a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step; hence 7th August was the first drop in the ocean of happiness for me. Roughly three decades have passed, but the day you were born is still as fresh as it was yesterday. Your birth and all the past years are like a favorite movie which I can watch over and over again.  Along with your birth came many challenges. How seconds changed into minutes, hours, days, years and finally you grew and have started leading your own life. You have gone very far from me but still there is a cord which keeps pulling both of us towards each other. There are few moments which I will never forget.  Your first touch, I felt a strange kind of warmth which was different from any other hug. Your cries made me nervous. You proved to be a great teacher for me.

You taught me many things from the day I conceived. You started telling me, slow down mom otherwise I will get hurt, you taught me to feel the change in myself and enjoy it. You told me I am a part of you and growing inside you, you gave me confidence and told me mom changes are always good as they indicate my growth. It is you who told me to feel the waves but not get sunken into these deep tides of water. You taught me that time never stops hence move along with it. It is because of you that I am alive.

As a mother I felt I should allow you to do the things you love, to grow, evolve, move in the direction of your dreams, and create your own space. It is said that a mother daughter relationship is the best relationship with least intergenerational gaps. I understood this only after you started growing up. The teen age rebellion approached you also and I had a tough time but as you crossed that age a common understanding started building between both of us and now we are good friends.

You are gone very far away like any other grown up daughter. I never ever wanted you to stay so far from me but again I have to respect your feelings and concerns. But no one can stop me from memorizing your laughs, your jokes and your plans to see me happy. I still remember the day when you started looking at a match for me in the matrimonial section of the news papers and wanted me to remarry. I remember you selected a few matches for me and wanted to send my bio data along with a photograph. You brought an old album and selected a photograph to send but it was not to your satisfaction. Upon my assertiveness to leave the idea of remarriage as I loved your father very deeply and will never be happy with any other man, you dropped this idea.  Now that you are far away, I feel lonely and say every day and miss you tremendously. I miss your laugh, your jokes, and your smile; miss your tickling to make me laugh. In the night I forget that you are not there most of the times and search for you on the bed and call your name. Today is your birthday and I am missing you, I am recollecting your child hood days. The month of August used to be very special for both of us.  New clothes, new shoes, and dining out on this day were our agenda.  In this materialistic world the only treasure I have is you as my darling daughter. Whenever I am sad I think of you and the emptiness surrounding tends to disappear. Talking to you on the phone makes my day. People feel strange that we talk to each other both in the morning and also in the evening.  Today is your birthday and I have promised not to be sad as you are always with me. Over and above that I know that now there is someone to serve you a fairy cake with a candle on your birthdays. I pray to God that he remains with you till you live, that this someone special may always be there to hold your hand. All these memories, wishes and prayers are the gift of the day from me to you. I hope you will like it. I have not narrated this note of mine to you on 7th of August while wishing you Happy Birthday as I knew that after reading it your eyes will get moist which I never want to happen on this special day.